On shopping, and other things.

1 Apr

I admit it, when I was in high school, I was materialistic. With my pay-checks from Dunkin Doughnuts, where I worked for far too long, I headed straight for the mall, where I spent nearly everything on new clothing, shoes and accessories. And those mall trips were just about every other week. Shopaholic? Perhaps.

I look back on this and feel a little sick. I cared so much what I looked like. I wanted all the latest fashions and didn’t care what I had to sacrifice to get them. They made me feel good, like I was worth something. Of course a few years later all my clothes went out of style so I threw them away anyways, hundreds of dollars. In addition to this, I spent a half hour every morning blow-drying and straightening my hair.

I realized how much I’ve changed when I went to the mall a couple weeks ago. I walked in all the same stores I used to shop at. I browsed. I touched. But I didn’t long for. In fact, I couldn’t wait to leave. Everything I saw there told me exactly what I didn’t have: you don’t have the newest purse, shoes or skirt. Do you have ANY jewelry? How about scarves? You’re seriously lacking scarves. I was bombarded, literally, and I had to get away.

Maybe having money is the difference. Now, nearly everything goes toward student loans. If you don’t have money, what’s the fun? But I don’t think that’s it. I realized that things really don’t make you happy, no matter how many or how much you have of them. And if they do make you happy, it’s temporary. I’m much happier now, I think, with my nearly out-of-style wardrobe than I ever was with my up-to-date one. I no longer spend half an hour every day on my hair, either. Yeah right. It’s lucky if it gets ten minutes.

I guess this comes with maturity. I’m no longer an insecure adolescent. But I’ve heard some adults never really catch on to this truth, ever. So I count myself one of the lucky ones.

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